The following is a true story, only the company name has been changed because, let's face it, it could have been any of a dozen companies.

At Christmas time a friend of mine, who we'll call Greta, ordered a computer system from a mail-order company we'll call Portal. When Greta ordered her computer the salesperson told her she'd have her computer by the 11th January.

On that date, Greta waited and waited and waited. No computer. She rang Portal, who said sorry, but you'll have it by the 16th.

On January 16th she waited and waited. No computer. Another call to Portal. "Some of the components for the system you ordered are out of stock, but we hope to have it to you in another two weeks."

"Now hold on a minute", said Greta, "You said I'd have it on the 11th and now I'm not getting it till February?"

"No, we estimated you'd have it on the 11th," replied the Portalkeeper, "but you have to understand we've been very busy over Christmas."

"The word estimate was never used," protested Greta.

"Well, our salespeople always say it's an estimate, so it's a case of your word against ours" was the customer-focussed response from the Portalkeeper.

At this point, Greta dug in and demanded to talk to someone higher up the chain. She put her case with some force, and two days later Portal delivered her system complete with those "out of stock and not available for two weeks" parts.

Let's count up the strikes against Portal at this stage.

Strike one: telling customers that they'll receive a computer on a particular date and not making it one hundred percent clear that this date is an estimate. It's not up to the customer to work out that the date is soft; it's up to the company to let the customer know the truth about the product they're buying, and delivery date is a crucial part of that product.

Strike two: not realising that Christmas might be a busy period, and delivery schedules will blow out. In fact, either this company is plain incompetent, or it knew the delivery schedule would be closer to four weeks but lied about it to ensure customers didn't take their money elsewhere.

Strike three: putting off the customer with a revised, equally flaky, delivery date when the computer didn't show first time.

Strike four: giving the customer a bogus excuse about parts after the second delivery date was missed. Obviously, given the final resolution of this episode, the components were available and ready to ship, but only to customers either important or vocal enough to escalate the issue.

This incident is a dramatic example of what I call the corporate lie. You see, it's quite possible that no individual Greta talked to was lying. It's quite possible the salesperson was told "Tell the customer we can deliver by the 11th", and the salesperson duly told the customer that. It's quite possible the salesperson quietly slipped in the word 'estimated' (or maybe they used the more subtle "we should have it to you by …"). It's quite possible the service representative had been told the components were out of stock and wouldn't be available for two weeks.

But as a company, Portal knew it was lying through its teeth to get this sale. The company knew that sales would be up over Christmas and delivery schedules would be behind because it hadn't allocated enough extra resources to cover them. The company knew once the sale was made it was unlikely to lose it because of a missed delivery date, especially if it offered some interim hope of a delivery. The company knew it had the components in stock. The company knew it could deliver the exact system ordered, immediately, even though it wanted to save the system for someone more important, more overdue or more likely to cause trouble. The company knew it could squirm out of its commitments because no individual could be called to task for lying. The company knew it was deceiving its customers.

How do you catch out the corporate lie? Here's what I suggest you do next time you order a computer by phone:

"Hi, thank you for calling Xyzzy Computers. How may I help you?"

"I'd like to know your name for starters."

"It's Joe."

"And your last name?"

"Flint."

"Thanks Joe. I know companies like yours often record customer calls for quality assurance. I want you to know I'm doing exactly the same on this end. Okay? Shall we do business?"

© 1997  Rose Vines

Support geekgirl's

Do you find the tutorials on this site useful? If so, please show your support by kicking in a few bucks to sponsor an orphanage for Afghan refugees. For a small amount, it is possible to make a difference in an area of the world which is hurting badly.

Want to know more? Read this post on my blog.

Do you have a comment? Write to geekgirltalk.

top home diatribes menu